


𝖑𝖎𝖖𝖚𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖐𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖘 & 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖕 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘

by heartmingi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, M/M, Unrequited Love, ateez au!, littlespace san, mingi just wants to be loved, polyamory!ateez, san is a lil manipulative, san is drunk, seonghwa and mingi are lowkey a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:00:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartmingi/pseuds/heartmingi
Summary: san loves to be loved , and he’ll do anything to be loved even if it means emotionally damaging two boys who’d fall on their knees for him at a snap of a finger。
Relationships: Choi San & Song Mingi, Choi San/ Song Mingi/ Park Seonghwa, Choi San/Park Seonghwa, Choi San/Song Mingi, Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 70





	𝖑𝖎𝖖𝖚𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖐𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖘 & 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖕 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dearbaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearbaby/gifts).



THE SMITHS - HOW SOON IS NOW? 

“ how much did he have to drink, again? “ Seonghwa asked the bartender, face ridden with perpetual worry as this hadn’t been the first time it happened. San had the tendency to lash out when he was especially upset with his lover(s) and the way he did so wasn’t exactly safe. He knew Seonghwa would come after him considering he knew San best and saw fit that he shouldn’t worry Mingi. “ i asked you a question and i expect an answer. “ His ring clad fingertips clenched into the form a fist as he lowered his lenses, revealing a wave of cool blue circle lenses that complimented his complexion though the expression behind them was one even he, himself, feared. Seonghwa was a very cool toned person, he hardly ever gained an inch of anger and if so, it was easy for him to let go considering he wasn’t the type to hold grudges. He didn’t believe in them, he didn’t believe in holding in any anger after he suffered a suffocating childhood filled with bounding resentment. His scars ran deep but when he met San.. it was easier for him to fill those lumped museum fixed lashes with warmth and planted seeds of growth. “ six shots of soju , a kamikaze and whatever pharmaceuticals his friends carry, i saw’em snorting some shit and i think he did it too, i ain’t lookin’ for any trouble so just take your bitch and take a fat hike. “ 

Without a single drop of hesitance, nor the indulgence to care, the bartender kissed the bar area — a pool of ruby colored substance pooling around his head as he laid stagnant. Seonghwa flicked the remaining drops across the man’s cheek, leaning in briefly for a mere second before readjusting himself. “ cheers, bitch. “

Alas, without a doubt, Seonghwa found his troubled boy and though the weight in his chest released with a pitiful sigh in gratitude — he couldn’t help but feel this boiling sensation coursing through his body for one of many reasons and it felt as though everything he had worked for and at to keep tied and well kept — slipped and shattered like porcelain on tile. 

San felt free, submerged in oxy and jewels — dancing to the beat of his own heartbeat thumping proudly in his ears as his ass did so against a stranger. His focus shifted, eyes dark and hooded with sensitivity to even his own touch to his own skin. The length of his inky black wig pleated against his milky, caramel colored skin. Seonghwa couldn’t deny the pit of his stomach twirling in pirouettes as he faced his sweet, corrupted little bundle of peonies clad in crystallized lingerie and tall, clear platform heels. God, why was he so in love? San was his weakness, his favorite indulgence, his lush paradise away from the world but right now? San has his own personal fiery pit of hell. 

“San.” The words felt crisp, burned at the tip of his tongue like sulfuric acid in the form of a neat shot. It was though the sound of his voice was enough to break San out of his trance because at the mere sound of his deep, sultry voice was enough to have him still like a deer caught in headlights though he felt no need to look at him without an attitude. He was having fun, why did Seonghwa have to ruin his fun? baby san , sannie , san san — all the names Seonghwa ever called him but this time it was different. There hadn’t been any love in his tone, any warmth or affection — not a single drop of it.. but he couldn’t help but feel annoyed at Seonghwa. He knew this. He knew San had to cater to the empty feeling hidden within his chest, deep and heavy and unhinged. He needed his fix, his night away from all the voices hindering and pestering him relentlessly. He lowered his hips, swaying them with an incessant need to feel that feeling again, that tingle coursing through his bloodstream due to the pharmaceutical dissolved within the cavity of his body.

“What, so you’re going to act like you didn’t hear me? I’m fed up with these games, we’re going home.” Seonghwa had lost his patience, wrapping a hand firmly around San’s wrist as he dragged him throughout the messy crowd filled with heat radiating from sweaty bodies and booze breath. 

“ hwa hwa , don’t wanna go , not leaving.” San’s tone of voice was messy, a form of slurred speech as he snatched his wrist away from Seonghwa’s grip, stumbling recklessly across the pavement as they exited the nightclub promptly. It was difficult for San to keep his focus, he wasn’t thinking clearly nor in the position to be able to and relied on instinct and that instinct itself persisted him in indulging in his wildest fantasies that didn’t involve Seonghwa dragging him out of the club. “ i don’t wanna go with you, i don’t like you, i hate you, you treat me like a child and you don’t let me do anything, don’t touch me ever again, seonghwa, i HATE you.” The thing about San was that he became this blubbering crying mess but out of being overwhelmed due to the side effects of the drugs he’d taken. He’d throw countless of fits and claim that he didn’t even know Seonghwa and did everything possible to keep him away, and though Seonghwa usually patient, littering his lover boy in hushed kisses and soothing back rubs, he couldn’t help but lash out at him too in response. “ don’t you think you’ve embarrassed yourself enough, huh? disrespected me and mingi by dancing with some fucking loser in there just to keep your high going?” San watched the taller of the two with wide, doe eyes, glassy with tears threatening to spill over if the elder of the two kept yelling at him. His shoulders shook with every angry word, feeling this wave of uncomfortable shame wave over him as he blinked - tears spilling over more so out of hurt. His lips parted to respond but Seonghwa cut him off by opening the door leading to the backseat of the uber he called seeing as the taller of the two didn’t even want to be in the same vehicle as him out of sheer anger. “ get in the car. “ A short, stuttered gasp fell past San’s lips in utter disbelief. Had he really pissed him off that bad? The mere thought made him loathe himself, feel this uncharacterized anger towards himself in utter shame. San loved Seonghwa and he couldn’t understand why he always put him in these kinds of situations — put him in these positions. “ no.. hwa hwa please, i don’t wanna go alo- “ His small, dainty hands were pressed against Seonghwa’s chest hesitantly, not daring to look in his eyes out of sheer fear that he’d be met with a cold pair, he shook slightly still in complete shock mixed with the after effects of the oxy he took. “ San, get in the fucking car, i’m not going to ask you again. “ San’s eyes were filled with an overflow of tears streaming down the base of his cheeks, heart swollen at the thought of having to go alone, Seonghwa knew San feared going into public transportation alone, he felt unsafe and paranoid and couldn’t bare the panic rising in his chest knowing he’d have to do this alone. “ please.. don’t do this to me, please.. i’m sorr-“ though his words were a mess of slurs due to intoxication, Seonghwa’s patience was wearing thin and wasn’t prepared to put up with drunken San. “ get in the fucking car, san, right now. “

At the midst of drunken chaos and broken hearts solidifying into shattered pieces made of silent tears of anger, a worried Mingi sat at the front step of their apartment complex, puffing nicotine into O-shaped smoke to distract himself from knowing Seonghwa had left in search of their lover boy. Though Seonghwa was the type to never tell him these things out of fear of worrying Mingi, Mingi knew — he felt this tattered feeling at the tips of his fingers and this emptiness at the pit of his stomach. He knew something was wrong. 

He was onto his fifth cigarette before a sleek, black BMW pulled up to the curb with a semi-silent screech of its tires. A man dressed in semi-decent attire rushed out of the driver’s seat with this scorching sense of fear that burned even the hole at the tip of Mingi’s cigarette. He flung the door open to the backseat, the side facing Mingi only to reveal San curled into the tightest ball, in complete panic mode from the bubbly tears to the dry heaving in fear. “ d-don’t touch me.. “ Mingi heard the softest plead pour past San’s lips, raising a shaking hand to advert the man’s attention elsewhere. 

“Fuck, San, what the fuck?” Mingi sighed in desperation of knowing what exactly happened, a dooming frustration coursing through him not knowing where to pin his annoyance and inevitable worry. “ Where’s Seonghwa? Is he with you? “ Mingi lifted himself from the concrete step, rushing past the driver to attend to him. The first thing he noticed was that San hadn’t been wearing not even a full layer of clothing, certain areas becoming red in irritation due to the rather cold weather and no sign of Seonghwa. Mingi couldn’t help but release yet another sigh all while removing his sweatshirt for the smaller of the two. 

“baby, i need you to get up, okay? nice and slow for me so i can get you dressed. i’m right here, no one’s going to hurt you.” San stirred in response, tilting his head upwards at the comforting sound of his Gi’s voice, erupting yet another cry as he’d fully slipped into his headspace — which for the most part happened whenever he felt truly overwhelmed or deeply upset. Mingi realized this, knowing this had been the case before scooping the small boy into his arms, using his sweatshirt as a blanket instead before waving off the driver. 

Mingi cooed at the younger as he carried him up to the apartment, taking his time on the steps because he hadn’t wanted to worry San of there being anything wrong and rush meant panic for San. The younger smelled of cotton candy perfume and tequila in the form of hiccuped breaths, keeping his face neatly tucked beneath the elder’s jaw. Mingi couldn’t understand why Seonghwa left him alone, this was truly out of his character altogether and it was difficult for him to piece an explanation or excuse for his behavior and lashing. 

“ hwa hwa ..” 

“hwa hwa’s not here, baby, he’ll come home soon.” 

“.. mad at me.” 

Mingi couldn’t even reassure the younger of the elder not being upset with him because that would be a lie and San didn’t like being lied to. Instead, he took San straight into the bathroom, familiarized with his drunken lover boy’s behavior so well that he knew it wouldn’t be long before the younger hacked up everything he consumed tonight. He set the boy down and onto the floor, assuring the velvet bathroom rug was beneath his knees so he wouldn’t bruise them on tile. 

“ don’t feel good, gi.. don’t feel good at all, it hurts “ San spoke through his teeth, beginning to cry once more — his stomach felt as though it were on fire, the cramping beginning to form as his cheeks ran a rusty taste of the aftermath that was about to go down. Mingi, well prepared and well accustomed to this, began to remove the boy’s wig — caressing his red and black locks before holding back the ones casually stuck to his sideburns. “go ahead, sannie, let it go.” and as if his words were made out of pure magic, San began to empty out the contents of his stomach — the upper portion of his torso leaning forward as he draped himself across the toilet. Mingi’s long fingertips worked at the younger’s head, grazing them in soothing notions as his free hand worked at freeing San out of his outfit for a well needed bath. 

“ sannie, don’t move, papa’s going to fix you a bath so you can get nice and clean before bed, okay?” San croaked weakly in response to the elder’s words, a drooling mess as he lay his head on his arm, awaiting for yet another round of alcohol detoxification. Mingi stood from his place, and began to arrange the tub for a bath — coaxing the porcelain piece with a shut knob, and running warm water. His movements were intricate, soft enough not to startle the other but with enough time in between to keep an eye on the boy. He twisted the knob to shut off the water, dispensing a generous amount of bubble bath soap with the scent of maraschino cherries before unwrapping a bath bomb and setting it aside for a moment. 

A moment of utter silence filled the room and Mingi was worried that the younger had fallen asleep. “ sannie.” The taller of the two spoke, peering at the boy as his body rose and fell a midst of a light sleep. 

“ fuck, dude, you always do this shit whenever he isn’t home.” Mingi muttered beneath his breath, slumping back against the wall as one arm rested atop of the tub, lighting yet another cigarette as he began to make himself comfortable. You see, San ONLY ever allowed Seonghwa to bathe him, it was THEIR thing but Mingi couldn’t grasp that concept, butchering failed attempts at getting him to let him but only to be led to a drunken San agreeing then falling asleep moments before. He couldn’t deny the fact that it bothered him, they fucked, he’d seen San’s body a million times before and knew it well enough to be able to paint it during his insomniac episodes so why couldn’t, no, why wouldn’t he let him? It made Mingi feel as though San didn’t trust him enough for something so intimate and the idea of that only tore at his sentiments viciously. 

It wasn’t long before he heard the front door slam and the familiar smell of mint and menthol cigarettes flooded the apartment. Mingi contemplated confronting Seonghwa, knowing well enough it most likely wasn’t the right time and felt as though the elder was probably especially ticked off but shit, what was he supposed to do? Leave the situation be and act as though he hadn’t just witnessed the boy who owned every fiber of his being, scared shitless in the back of a fucking uber with no recollection of how he even got there? Fuck that. 

“ seonghwa.” 

His voice was strict, embedded in burrows of resentment and annoyance of being deprived of essential information — information that could’ve easily prevented the situation from getting this out of hand, but soft enough not to wake San. 

Heavy yet slow paced footsteps were heard — closer and closer before stopping dead in front of the doorframe of the bathroom. Seonghwa looked as though the remainder of his soul had been suckered out of his chest with a tall skewer, heavy bags forming beneath his eyes as his often warm complexion became pale. 

“what?” 

“care to explain to me why you left him alone in the back of an uber? he’s not even wearing clothes, seonghwa and you left him in the back of a car with a stranger when you could’ve taken him home yourself so what the fuck?” 

“he—“

“do you honestly, honestly and truly think that I want to hear your pitiful explanation? starting with what he did and ending with you getting angry and lashing out at him when you know that isn’t the way to get through to him? stop being such a fucking narcissistic ass for two seconds and take him a bath.” 

Seonghwa furrowed his brows in response, the resentment was obvious across his features, his eyes consistently flickering to San as the boy stirred in jitters as he slept. Seonghwa knew he might have gone a little too far but the reason he did it remained obvious. He loved San, more than he allowed himself to admit but he often felt as though San constantly played with him, toyed with his affection and attachment and kept it as a pawn in his game of chess, that’s how he ended up in this situation. An open relationship split with another his best friend, practical brother but his dedication remained feral to San. 

“ why can’t you? he doesn’t want me to touch him. “ Seonghwa spoke lowly, avoiding eye contact with Mingi who, truly became fed up with this crushing melodrama. 

“spare me the theatrics, you know why I can’t and I bet you cherish that more than anything, don’t you? lucky you.” Mingi jabbed the end of the cigarette across the tile, putting it out as his annoyance grew wildly as it displayed across his features. He stood, glancing at the younger before releasing a slight scoff and pushing past the lean figure. He felt stupid, dumb founded and awkward, upset and useless all at the same time. Off place to say the least. “ mingi. “ Seonghwa’s voice went down an octave or two, a sense of pleading resentment and shame stirring within it as he held onto the other’s wrist before yanking him back — pinning him against the wall just outside of the bathroom, his forearms resting at either side of Mingi’s head as their faces resided merely centimeters away. Seonghwa’s breath was uneven, hesitating as his cheeks began to flush deeply as well as the bridge of his nose. No words exchanged, just the facial expression of a rather completely confused Mingi who eventually regained control over the situation by gripping at Seonghwa’s arms. 

“ seo—“ He couldn’t even finish the remainder of his sentence before he tasted the sweet, unfiltered taste of sugary mint and nicotine, a plush pair of lips melting into his almost as if they were meant to meet in correlation of a lost constellation. Mingi’s mind flooded with confusion but couldn’t help but rest the palms of his hands just beneath Seonghwa’s jawline, cupping his cheeks as he lapped at the elder’s lower lip, connecting their tongues as if they were meant to be one in one sweet, solidified swipe. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The planets in the galaxy of San were to prevent this alignment. This hadn’t been a part of their agreement, Seonghwa wasn’t supposed to love anyone but San and Mingi was to do the same but Seonghwa couldn’t help but test this theory with this action. He wanted to feel something else, anything else, even a slight, obliterated spark at his chest to signify the pain of his broken heart could be filled and replaced with yet another source or unrequited feelings. He didn’t want to be hurt, and the way he knew he couldn’t be hurt was by unifying this trinity even if he was completely unsure of it. Mingi’s mind was hazy, a distraught sense of urgency overcoming him as a slight moan began to peak past his lips. This isn’t real, this isn’t right, i need to stop. He consistently repeated in his mind as he tilted his head away, snatching his mind away from those thoughts to refocus on the reality of the situation. Seonghwa’s energy clearly matched Mingi’s secretive one considering his pair of cherry kissed lips began to ravish every angle of Mingi’s neck, sucking and nipping at every open space in hopes of drawing Mingi in. Mingi felt dizzy, lips parted as sweet melodies in the form of pleads for more counteracted what his mind told him not to do, tangling his fingertips in Seonghwa’s dark locks. Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel a slight shimmer of surprise, he never would’ve though Mingi would allow this to go for so long, which only furthermore convinced him that there HAD been sexual tension between them and induced his actions even more. 

“ hwa hwa ? “ 

The pair froze completely, any wavering sense of sexual tension dissipating like ice on a hot summer’s day. 

“ ..yes, baby?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ! not entirely sure if i’ll continue this but my bf forced me to post this due to his fan of polyamory! ateez concepts ! lemme know what you think and i might just continue !


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